Back in Canada

I was debating with myself for quite some time in deciding what I should do first.  Should I send out some e-mails I’ve been meaning to write?  Should I blog on the Global Perspectives Site?  Should I blog for myself?  I’ve been debating to see which order would give me the most effective results, but in the end, I guess I’m just too tired to think about the order, since it wouldn’t make that much of a difference in the end (hopefully).  So here goes nothing =)

The trip is over, and yes I am feeling very VERY sad about it.  I didn’t know I would feel this unhappy, but I guess Global Perspectives has become a part of my life, a part of me, that this “sudden” end to the journey is quite very hard to accept.  Yes, I know that in many ways, it will still be a part of me (and thank goodness for the grad trips) but then really, global perspectives doesn’t belong to me anymore…it belongs to the next group of students who will be fortunate enough to experience the same yet very different experience we have had.  It is now time to pass down the torch, whether I am ready or not.

The trip is slowly beginning to sunk into me.  At first, even during the closing ceremony, maybe because things are happening all too quickly, I felt rather indifferent about it.  Here, the word indifferent must not be taken literally, rather, the essence of it must be considered.  Many of the aha! Moments my friends are getting I have understood quite well for some time due to other experiences, so they weren’t much of a surprise to me.  And for that, I was not very happy because in my mind, I was like…is this it?  Is this the end to the journey?  But I didn’t even find that pot of gold that I’ve been meaning to search for.  Yes, I’ve picked up a few gold coins, but things did not hit me as hard as it did to the other people because (not to praise myself or anything by any means but…) as I’ve said, the things that other people were aha!-ing about, I already aha!-ed.  Thankfully, while talking to a good friend on the trip, he said to me things that actually changed my perspectives quite a bit.  And after the mini talks we had, things are slowly beginning to sink in.

Yes, there are so much to take in.  I guess for me, things don’t’ hit me until a little bit after.  I react slow, but I guess it’s better late than never.  The things I’ve already understood, that’s great because for others to understand it also, it only reinforced my original ideas and knowledge.  Initially, I guess I was hoping that the whole global education journey will change me and make me a stronger person.  And that I will dig something even deeper, even deeper down than the things I already knew, and for me not to be able to dig that like how I dug the piles of rocks at the site, I was a little terrified and disappointed.  But now, I am starting to uncover the most basics and with those basics, I know that it will lead me to the answers I’ve been seeking for.  Yeah, this all seems like me just rambling on and on, but it makes sense, at least to me.  As one of the students have shared during one of our discussion circles, there is so many layers to it.  I was scared that I was only being an IB kid and overanalyzing the whole thing, but I’m not.  There are layers to it.  And I will need to take some time to think about it.  So if you see me strangely quiet, it is either I am thinking, or I am still a little down from the trip.

It’s really weird to wake up here at home, all alone and without 29 other students.  I am so used to doing things as a group that I didn’t realize how lonely I can be without al the other people around me.  Indeed we are all in this together.  Through the thick and through the thin, through the cold and through the stinkiness, through the happy and embarrassing moments and through the crying and departing times.  We are through it all together.  I am incredibly thankful for the friendships I have gained from the trip because I can honestly say that without this trip, I wouldn’t have met and connected with so many people who’ve been all around me.  It is really y weird actually, how just because I am in IB, I feel so disconnected from the regular students.  There are many students that I would not know have gone to our school if it was not for the trip.  It’s weird because when I look at school and when I look in the yearbook, I can identify so many faces but I didn’t realize how many people I did not know until this trip.  And one of the aspects which made my trip so special is indeed the people I am with.  It weird, as I’ve mentioned before, how I was dancing at the disco parties we went to in Mongolia.  I’ve always asked myself why?  I did not understand.  But maybe the answer to that is simple.  I am comfortable with the people around me, and I can dance care freely because I know that even if I looked like a dork, the people around me wouldn’t mind.  It’s these little moments with these special people that I will always remember and treasure in my heart forever and always.

I am still really upset but then looking at the pictures on Facebook did brighten my day.  They trigger memories and moments, happy memories and happy moments.  And receiving the e-mails with the links to the songs we are familiar with =) can’t say more but thank you <3 I know those two simple words have been said repeatedly throughout the trip, but I would sincerely like to thank each and every one of you.  Thank you to my 29 Mongo buddies.  Thank you to the 4 amazing teachers.  Thank you to the goofy photographer.  Thank you to the dental team.  Thank you to the man who is always young at heart.  Thank you to the pilot I like to share my candies with.  Thank you to the people who’ve been keeping up with us and stalking the site (much like how I am stalking the site these days =S odd, but I guess it’s my way of still feeling connected with everything and as well, read my fellow classmates’ blogs).  Thank you for out site manager for keeping in track with everything and always being there for the team.  Thank you for the hammer back home who never left us (you’re on the trip with us the whole time! Just ask Joyce =D) Thank you everyone.  Thank you thank you thank you.

<3

Remember to cherish and to love.  Remember to look at the scenery around you and the faces around you.  Remember to not take things for granted.  Remember that words are great, but sometimes action speaks more than words.  Remember not to forget.

I see and I forget.  I hear and I remember.  I do and I understand.

That quote holds a different meaning for me now.  When I first read the quote, I understood it, perhaps due to my past background and experience.  But after the trip, more meaning is attached to it.

I understand now =) I’m not completely there yet, but I’m slowly getting there, slowly understanding.

Note:

There’s just too much and everything is so overwhelming, I know I am missing alot and I did not cover everything.  But I’ll take it one step at a time. =)