There is always that one moment when you can pinpoint the start of the end. After I saw the newly designed, ready to go Fiji page, I couldn’t come back. I couldn’t will myself to look at the site and look goodbye right in the face. Because as much as I belived I was grown up this year, I have realized I still have growing to do. And the program has helped me grow. Not completely to where I need to be, but further ahead then where I was. Because everything is just pushing us forward. Daily. Continually. When I’m 18. When I’m 98. I want life to keep pushing me forward. And that’s what I need to take with me after all of this is said and done. I will continue moving forward. But for now, I just want to remember. Because there are so many moments accountable for making me into a woman. So many realizations that helped to steer me to decisions made today. And so many notions altering my state of being. I cannot meet the needs of others, or fullfill the expectations of my superiors, but I can answer to myself. And continue answering, as long as I have that spark in me to continue pushing forward. This is it. Goodbyes are so much harder. easier. than anything else.
I would pray and see what God wanted to do with this. That was my plan. And honestly, every person He has placed into my life during these two weeks have been such an amazing gift. The amount of love I have experienced will be with me forever, when I’m studying, working, and even when I have my own family. I do not deserve this much happiness. But it definitely exists in this world. And my renewal of faith in humanity has once again come full circle. I guess that’s what life really comes down to. Experiencing worldly love as much as possible. Again and again. It starts here.
Day three of work. My body is feeling it. It’s also wondering what’s going on, seeing as I haven’t exercised in just over four months. But seriously, everything is going really well. The girls tackled the outhouse today and yes, we ladies even got a bonfire rolling. No gas, just wood, and a little bit of our souls. It’s about 2 ½ feet at the moment. I’ll l keep you posted 
And finally, a confession: I am in love with a 60-something year old man. Troy, if you ever read this, YOU HAVE THE HEART OF A LION. And I also enjoy your stories about you and your girlfriend. The school walls are just about complete, and the day is just about over. And this should have a witty conclusion, but I am tired. You don’t even know how much these Mongolians can dance. Every night.
Where do I begin with this? The amount of happiness I have felt on this trip is beyond me. No country should make you feel this good. But it does. We spent the first two nights in hotels. Day three found us sleeping in minus 35 weather. I can’t say I took that with a shot of grace, especially since I was cursing and praying at the same time. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My biggest a-ha moment? Don’t wear a onesie as a base layer. Especially at midnight when you need to go to an outhouse to pee. Sitting in the dark nakesies is not fun. Yesterday we got to our work cite. And honestly, this little piece of land felt like my baby. This is what the hours of fund-raising was for. For every single Mongolian crowding around us, and for every single gracious hug we received. Today I am building an outdoor toilet. Don’t even begin to imagine all the jokes we have come up with to amuse ourselves as we pound away at frozen dirt. It will get done. It is our duty (ok, gotta give credit to Geoff for that one).Gotta go, I can’t stand in one place for too long cause my toes will fall off, but quick shout-outs to Alex and Robbi! Miss you 
This really got me thinking. I don’t know if it will do the same for you, but it definately put things into perspective for me. The images are taken from time.com for a project called “Hungry Planet” by a journalist traveling across the globe documenting the amount of food families eat on a weekly basis.
I may just bring a food album to Mongolia, resembling a Sears catalogue…full of images of food. You know, for when I get homesick.
This past week has been…wow. Just wow. No words to describe, but I’ll try. We had several guest speakers talk to us global kids. Being a surprise, we naturally let our imaginations run wild. Yes, we truly believed Obama was coming to give us an inspirational speech. One of those extreme cheesy, yet appreciative speeches only shown on television, with the zoom focused on crying women. Ok, I’m getting a little out of hand. Instead, we were met with some of the humblest people I have ever listened to, with such different, yet equally amazing things to share. Our first guest was an Olympic athlete, and a brother, father and husband. But we were really interested in the Olympic part. Here sat this man that spoke about his athletic journey, as well as his emotional one. And the stories he told rang true in so many aspects of my life. It would do him a great injustice if I tried to repeat the stories, because, well, I just wouldn’t do it right, but I will definately marvel to you what they meant. As he was talkig about working for his goals, winning a gold medal, I sat back and wondered about what I wanted in life, and if I was truly going for it. Sure, life gets in the way, but doesn’t it for everyone. It really got me thinking.
Our second guest, or should I say guests, were from Mongolia. This included the Mongolian ambassador, along with his wife, and collegues. They spoke to us about their country, and gave us some information, on how to say hello, what is culturally acceptable and what the atmosphere is like. I also learned that the middle finger is highly appropriate in sharing how you feel. Interesting. We’ll see if I’ll try it out…Mostly likely not, seeing as my teachers are in fact Canadian and do not yet trust this middle finger business. Who can blame em. But seriously, I thought this week was great. With all the fun it brought, it also allowed me to do some soul searching, and self digging. It was like a bonus gift two months after Christmas.
And now that I look back, could Obama have done a better job? Na.
Our assignment for tomorrow’s class was to connect with someone in the classroom who we normally haven’t bonded with. After twelve years of knowing this guy, tonight I caught a glimpse of Steven Stewart. Real, funny, genuine Steven Stewart. And now, more than ever, I’m excited to go to Mongolia and get to know the rest of him.
In today’s class Mr.Matheny showed us several pictures and asked us what to jot down some of our first reactions. The variety of words differed across the room, but the idea was still the same. We were judging each photo. This being natural instinct, our class had mixed emotions about judgment. We came to the understanding that it is inevitable because of what we have learned from the world. But even though we naturally judge people, we can change the way we judge them. We can step into their shoes and then judge. Think positive rather than negative thoughts and maybe even get to know who we’re judging. The global crew is diverse, and we have many different opinions. And because of that we will have many different judgments. But if we take the time to hear each other out and maybe try and understand where that individual is coming from, well, we’ll save ourselves many tears and meltdowns. And the good judgment-we’ll just save up as compliments.
Ladies and gentlemen, our last fundraiser has just wrapped up. And as I look back, with a sigh of relief and a tear in my eye, I realize that there is just over a month and a half until we are in Mongolia, our destination, our goal, our future. The basketball game was a hard hitter. After the tragedy in Haiti, many people were not on board for donating to another cause. However, there were still generous souls out there who even struck up a conversation or two. Interested in our program, it really amazed me that people generally care. And going into a mysterious country that is what I will take with me, because no matter how much may go wrong, the fact that people are naturally good is always going to be on my side.
