Lianne Lardizabal

Well, this is it. Today was the last day of school. I feel I’m going into a withdrawal again… the first time being the time we left Fiji. But now, it’s leaving high school. To be honest, the fact that school was ending hasn’t really hit me until just a few days ago. I expected to be really upset at valedictory because leaving became official. I was starting to put my self in a lot of sadness because of I began thinking about how I won’t see so many of these people again… people who I grew up with in this second home of mine. However, that wasn’t the case. I was extremely happy that night. Previous grads have said that valedictory was boring and tedious but to me, it wasn’t. I was so happy seeing everyone smile and shake the hand of our principal. I enjoyed listening to what each student was doing with their lives and how people thought of them, even though I didn’t know many of my peers. But those that I did know, it was truly something I took pleasure in seeing and listening. I felt a sense of pride because I was given the opportunity to make some time, focus, and learn about each person in my graduating class. That’s a night I’ll never forget.

Well, congratulations grads! We made it. Best of luck in the future to all.

Love, Lianne

For the last two Global classes, we began accomplishing our two final assignments. The first one was the photo assignment. There were many mixed emotions that came along with viewing these photos. I was definitely very delightful because it’s nice having an excuse to see this photographs once again. These really do tug at my heartstrings. At the same time, it makes me feel as if time is going back way too quickly. I can still recall what I felt. I can tell you right now with any photo you show me. Yet, it feels as though Fiji was just a dream… Did it actually happen? I still remember how I felt, but something about it still just too surreal. Although we may have disconnected slightly even after just a month’s time, we still manage to find unity in these photographs. Maybe we each have a different memory of each photograph, but we find a compromise. Somehow.
The second assignment was the time capsule. This was really interesting for me because I’ve never participated in a time capsule before. I wonder what I’ll be feeling when I read this letter 10 years from now. I wonder what other people will do with their lives 10 years from now. Despite the differences and the diverse roads we may take, we will find unity again when we reunite.

Love, Lianne

Well, IB exams are over. How am I feeling? I’m feeling FANTASTIC! It’s been a hectic month but I can assure you that it was definitely a rewarding experience. I’m feeling a little funny right now; ever since grade 8, I’ve planned on taking on IB. It’s almost as if the last 5 years were meant to build up to this month of May where we take about 15 exams that determine our future. All of it was built up to that point and now… it’s over? Where did the time go? I definitely feel great that it’s over; I can now relax and have a bit more time for my own leisure activities rather than studying. At the same time, I feel a little empty. Maybe it’s the fact that something that has occupied my mind for about 5 years is finally obsolete. I also feel proud- I’ve come all this way knowing that I’ve worked hard. I can say that having a ton of free time is relaxing and I really do enjoy it. At the same time, I still enjoy going some classes. I mean, there are only 3 weeks left into the school year… personally, I’d want to see my classmates’ and teachers faces as many times as I can before it’s over. Last Global class, we talked about regrets. I was trying to think about regrets I have… but I think I can happily say that I have absolutely no regrets. IB was a lot of hardwork, but if I were given the option to do it again- I would. It was a truly rewarding experience. Not only that, but I did not have to give up the activities I enjoyed like sports or hanging with friends. I’ve worked hard in school. In Global, I made sure that no regrets would be made. High school has been good to me, how can I regret any moment of it?

Love, Lianne

So IB exams are almost over. Just French left! Almost there…
Yesterday was a really unique day, even though explaining it may seem like it was just another day. It was mainly composed of talking. Nothing extravagant or anything that gives an adrenaline rush. We sat and talked. After we finished our exam, we went upstairs to one of our teacher’s classroom (which was empty because all the IB kids our off for exams). We just sat and talked, and talked, and talked… about everything! We talked about traveling, our potential university lives, the present, our summer, Fiji, television shows, exams, growing up… So many things. None of that trivial “gossiping” that is often associated with teenagers, but just conversations about what life has to offer (or what it has already offered to us). It was really nice. Since it was a nice day, we decided to go to the park to continue our discussion. It reminded me a lot of Global and the appointment clocks we had in Fiji, things that gave some sort of “push” to start a conversation. Except this was spontaneous. A lovely and enriching day it was indeed.

Love, Lianne

Halfway through IB exams. You know, they’re not as bad as they are led to seem. Maybe that’s because I’ve been studying a lot. More than I ever have been in my life! I feel pretty accomplished, actually, because I didn’t know I was able to focus for extremely long periods of time, 9AM until… really late. I’ve only had 8 hrs of sleep in total for the past 2 days and I have to say… although I am wiped out, I feel refreshed. Because I know that I’m working my hardest. Because now that I finished more than half of my exams, I can have a day of breather and reflect on the hardwork I’ve just done so far. I’m not complaining! On the trip, we’ve learned to cherish every moment. Well, I’m halfway through IB exams and I can say that I’ve been working my hardest so far. I hope that this will pay off. It feels like it will. I’m cherishing these exams by putting my best effort. I’ve made it this far, why stop now?

Back to studying I go!

Love, Lianne

It’s been an intense few weeks with the constant studying. I just finished 3 out of my 15 IB exams! I still have a while away but it seems to be going by quite fast. Over the course of these few days, I feel like the amount of studying is insane… although I do not seem to be feeling lazy or unwanting of this task. In fact, I’m even determined to get through this! I think it’s because of putting things into perspective: There’s only 23 days of May where I have to work extremely hard for exams. This is where it counts. Part of the reason why I feel this way is how much I’ve learned about education and how this value is transitioning into how I should be considering education- something I should not take for granted. I am extremely blessed. Children who would walk 5km to be in the position I am in which I have gotten so easily. The other part is that I’ve worked hard for the past 5 years of the high school, 2 years of the IB program, and I’m not about to slack now. Keep pushing everyone, it’s not too long from now!

Love, Lianne

Bula!

Today is the last day before IB exams begin. It’s a little weird – what I’m feeling right now is what I should be feeling in June. All my teachers were wishing us luck. However, what really struck me was how they mentioned that they’re going to miss us. Miss us?! It’s hard to believe that we’re so close to the finish line… I don’t know if I want to reach it quite yet (although I’m willing to pass the number of hurdles that are coming my way as soon as possible (ie. exams)). Over a month ago we were in LAX for 6 hours waiting for our flight to Nadi. Where has time gone?
During class, Mr. Matheny told us that we will be preparing a time capsule. This is something I’ve always wanted to do so it sounds extremely appealing to me! At the end of May, we have to put a special item and a letter to ourselves in a capsule which we will open 10 years from now. After spewing out my thoughts in my letter to the Botswanan provisions of embarking the future, I will now be writing a letter to myself that will trigger a reflection of the past. This is pretty sweet to me. It’s reassuring that although “Colts to Fiji ’11″ is nearing the end of its course, our adventures aren’t. It never ends. I love that! We lived in the moment. Now, we are reflecting and treasuring our past no matter how distant it may seem. Most of all, we are hopeful for what the future holds. I can say that for myself at least. I hope a lot of people will make the effort of returning back ten years from now to open this capsule. Currently, I’m imagining everyone 10 years older. I wonder what everyone will be doing 10 years from now? Whatever the changes may be, I know that no matter what path we take in our futures, we will still remember the children dancing to “Two-Piece” and the daily rainbows…

Good luck to all those writing IB exams! Study hard!

Love, Lianne

Bula (still proudly embracing my Fijian-ness)!

I’ll start things off with saying how we’re officially back to our regular lunch classes! I’ve missed it but I’m not feeling (as) sad anymore. In fact, I’m now very excited for what the future holds for all of us (and the new 2012 class!). Within the few weeks of returning back and reflecting and discussing with friends about what I have learned, what I found difficult about adjusting back… etc, the friendship among us has actually become a lot stronger because many of us are making an effort to stay connected. I’ve learned to appreciate the friendships I’ve built a lot more. I like that. I can even say that we’re starting to have a better connection with the Mongolians now because of how we share that desire of going on another Global trip and missing of something. I feel a lot more prepared for some reason. Life is a never ending lesson!

So the other day we were invited to see the reveal of the country for 2012 – BOTSWANA! The moment in that room felt like yesterday when we were there finding out our country for 2011. I still remember it so vividly. Mr. Matheny first told us about his bucket story of when he was a child… and then we were wondering what the relevance was to the revealing of the flag – which was just to make us more anxious with the extra stalling time. Then he showed us the flag! Except none of us knew which flag it was so we were silent. Then someone yelled “England” because of the Union Jack symbol. Finally, he showed us the plaque and immediately we all yelled “FIJI!!!!!!!!!!” and we all started cheering! We were so excited that we even began collecting money for the scratch cards as soon as we went out the door. Man, I’ll never forget that day…
But now it’s your turn, Global Ed’ers of 2012! I want to say congrats to each and every one of you! I’m truly excited for all of you because you’re about to embark on the best journey of your life – and it has already started. I’m guessing many of you are feeling a little nervous because of the incredibly high expectations that are now bestowed upon you. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, and we have all felt nervous. It’s perfectly normal and it just shows you care. But If you’re not nervous, it just shows how motivated you are. You have a lot fundraising ahead of you and no doubt it is a lot of work, but you will be able to get through it. I can assure you that you will enjoy every moment of it too. Work hard and have fun! You’ll be able to do both.

Love, Lianne

It’s been an eventful and meaningful journey throughout the whole year. However, this week has been especially difficult coming back. I’d be happy, then sad. Really happy again… then really sad again. After a lot of thinking and a few conversations, I’ve realized that things always turn out for the better. It’s not only independent time that has helped me, though. It’s the collective efforts of my Fijians and I to keep connected that made me feel a lot better. We all felt lonely but we realized that we shouldn’t be. With Gr. 11 interviews going on, many of us have felt lonely. I think I can speak for many of us where we realized that things are getting better. Things got so much better today. We took Mr. Matheny’s advice by setting up our own lunch time meetings while interviews are going on. Today was our second session and I have to say, it was very successful. All we did was talk about (super secret information) as well as reminiscing about the things that happened on the trip. But it made me so much happier – I’m smiling right now as I type this blog! I definitely needed that. This “culture shock” I’m experiencing upon returning back is disappearing, and I’m glad to say that I am very happy with what I have now. I still love Fiji a lot but I’m starting to remember what my priority is at the moment which is to study study study as hard as I can until the end of the year. Things will be better than okay now. Adjusting back is a lot better now.
To the Gr.11′s, I wish you all the best for your interviews! You guys are making a great decision by applying for this because, and I can speak for many of us, this has been the best thing that has happened to us for reasons that you will soon discover. While what I say right now may sound generic, it is something that you will understand once you are in my position writing a message to Gr.11′s. Whatever the results are, remember that everything happens for a good reason. I am really excited for you all because I know that the journey you are embarking (yes, it has officially started!) will be something you will remember for the rest of your life. Cherish every moment!

As Vijay says, “my heart is full [of happiness].” I feel the same way.

Love, Lianne

I have to admit – the past few days returning back to BC, it was difficult adjusting. I felt really sad because I missed my fellow Fijians. I never knew how much I could miss something. I couldn’t focus on anything because I kept thinking back on what I could be doing in Fiji. While I was very happy to see my mother again, I also had that neighbouring feeling of loss that my Fijians weren’t with me. I looked at photos over and over again, and read blogs. Every time I tried to focus on something else, Fiji was always on my mind. It was the best thing that has ever happened in my life so far and it was over so soon!
It wasn’t until just last night, when I turned off my computer, that I was doing something that I don’t normally do. I was being preoccupied with my past and forgetting to live in the moment. Although I am indecisive at times, many of the decisions I do make are without regret. I know with confidence that being in Fiji was without any regrets – I was open-minded and I tried new things. Most of all, I lived in the moment. What I forgot to do during the last few days of my return was to do what I was doing in Fiji. I was being so preoccupied with thinking about Fiji that I’ve been forgetting what’s right in front of me – a mother who has been waiting for me for 2.5 weeks. I almost forgot how much I’ve missed her after being so caught up with missing my Fijians. I suppose it’s normal that I miss Fiji, as I am sure most Global Eders would feel after coming home. But it’s also in my best interest to not let my emotions get the best of me. It’s not fair for my mother and it’s not fair for myself either. Sure, I had my share of sadness because of my longing for the Fiji but now it’s time to move on (for my own sanity) and return to reality. It doesn’t necessarily mean going back to my old routine but it simply means that I have to apply what I’ve learned to my lifestyle now. I’ve made a goal with myself to make an effort to spend time with my mother and not let homework or friends get in the way of that. And also to remember to just enjoy every moment for what it is – can’t go wrong there!
Today was the first day back to school since we left and I have to say, it was also a great way to get my mind back into track. In the morning, we quickly changed into our bright coloured shirts and sulus. In a crowd of black sweaters and jeans, there was always that one person in the bright shirt and sulu. Hugging all the Fijians again felt like being reunited with a friend after being apart for so long. We were so excited (and so early in the morning) that we gave Mr. Matheny and Mr. Kippy a giant hug as they were on their way to the change room about to change into their sulus. Seeing the teachers, too, made me really excited! I was just so happy seeing everyone smiling again. Nobody was sad that we weren’t in Fiji. Instead, we were insanely cheerful that we got to see each other. The whole day, I was looking forward to lunch because by then I would see my Fijians again. Geoff came! Which was a nice surprise. The atmosphere was a lot different from past Global classes. Definitely more positive. I was on my way to my locker when I bumped into Mr. Matheny. He mentioned how it must feel weird being back (I whole-heartedly agree) but the most interesting thing about being back is how we see each other differently now. Matheny says that he now sees me an inch taller (ha ha ha… lame!). But it’s true – I do see everyone differently! I can say that I consider everyone, both teachers/Geoff and classmates, as friends. It’s amazing what two weeks together can do.
Although Fiji is over, I am extremely, extremely thankful that it happened. I was sad but now I am able to say that I’m way more grateful. What I was worried most about returning back would be losing the connections we’ve made between people. I think that was why I was so sad coming back home. It’s inevitable that things won’t stay the same but the underlying connection that we’ve all shared, through the construction of the storm shelter in Wavuwavu, will last forever. We may go our separate ways, but that does not mean we’ll all stop being friends. I’m willing to accept this now. I mean, with the connections we all made, it won’t be that easy to split us up! While I am excited to see what the future holds for all of us, I’m enjoying the ride right now. (Global Grad Trips, here I come!)

Love, Lianne