Laura Lam

There comes a time when you will learn all these experiences on your own.

There comes a time when our thoughts are all united.

There comes a time when you will impart your knowledge to little young ones

There comes a time when you realize… everything comes full circle.

This experience is like playing spin a bottle. It seems to spin far away from you, but after spinning it around and around, it’s will be pointing at you again. At times, it might not be pointing at you directly, but you know it will point at you somehow. You can’t escape the circle.  You are all part of the circle now and it makes me happy to know that the circle won’t stop expanding

Priorities. That’s a debatable word. It could even be one of the more.. personal words that I could think of. Everyone has different priorities.  What I deem important might not mean anything to another.  Realistically, I think everyone is bound to have similar priorities, one way or another. There will always be overlaps, but it’s also astounding how fast priorities could change.

I heard a single thought-provoking sentence coming from a fellow global-eder today. I won’t feel comfortable saying exactly what the person said, but nonetheless it was enough to got me to think about my ideas of priorities.  From the beginning of the program, when we first got in, we were constantly reminded of how special, unique we might be, to be chosen for this class. I had my share of pride and gratitude that I was part of it.  But what this triggered in me was this sense of priority that existed within this class. How it was what I held the most important of my lessons learned this year… and the realistic aspect of it all.  Its for the real life lesson I got to encounter, a little glimpse of the real world that allowed me to set this priority.  Of course, how could I ever forget about school! But in a sense, this program IS school for me. The classroom can educate, and through this, I can understand. Now I ask myself the question, has my priority changed- from before the trip, to the trip itself, to after the trip? I think certainly perspectives changed, but this class and family still ranks all the way up there.

The worst is finally over but the feeling of content isn’t what I expect it to be.

UBC papers lying around on my desk. History notes on the other side. Chemistry. Math. English. A mixture of my past, present,and future all together. I thought that I would be feeling overwhelming amounts of happiness now that I am done. Yes I am relieved. Yes I am happy. But not as happy as I thought I would be feeling these few days.  The end of the best  arrived on March 26 and while the worst was approaching back then, its all part of the past now. I can’t retain it anymore, what gone is gone.  Even now that the dreadfulness has past, it still feels instinctive to go and grab it back.  As the adrenaline dies down, what you took for granted starts to slip away. I am living in the memories right now. I could see myself in what you are doing. In a way I am thankful for the memories you brought back for me. Memories that will lose its sparkling vigor and fade away one day.

What used to belong to me is no longer mine. Its ours.  Now its  in your hands, and then in your hearts.  Hold on.

I remember reading how the trip helped someone from last year get through this final month. It provided the motivation and support to keep up the studying and march that final stretch. Sitting here staring at pages after pages of notes, I find that this applies to me. I value my education, the probabilities that opened up my life because of where I am, who I am with. Keeping this in mind, this month is passing by fast and ironically, I actually might miss it.  Before and after. Its all really down to one simple word that I know everyone mentioned before: appreciation.

Its quite a journey, it took merely a year to witness the change that we were seeking for, and two weeks to make it  real.I reminisce constantly about those two weeks still, I envision myself sometimes still inside the dorm after a long day of work, dirty hair and all.  Now, its funny how these small changes still affect me.  I don’t need long showers just so that my hair is nice and shiny everyday, just the luxury of having clean and accessible water is good enough. Life can be simple, we are the ones who make it too complicated. When the wind is roaring and I feel a bit chilly, wanting to complain about the cold, I just think back on the first day in the yurt. Enough said. Cold? Yeah right.

Its the simplicity that I treasure more of now, the appreciation of what I have, not what I don’t have. We can choose to see it in different ways but frankly, life is not that hard to get through.

FIJI!

Who’s excited? I am! And I am not even in your class, so I bet you all must be excited

It’s crazy eh? A week ago, interviews were just wrapping up and now, already you are starting your long (but very enjoyable) road to Fiji. First reaction I had: is that where Fuji apples come from? Laugh all you want. But seriously, remember your first reaction today, April 27, 2010. A year ago, when you look back upon your year, you need the memories. Just like Mongolia. I screamed just like everyone else, thinking about Gengis Chinggis Khan, cold, snow, mongolian grill, snow, and more cold. As a tried to remember every detail of that day, I probably am missing some, so make sure you all store that feeling right away!

This blog. From getting our picture done to getting our password to blog, to finding out the website crashed to having Tony save the day, this blog is really a documentary of our change. But soon it won’t be ours anymore, and we will have to share it. That’s actually one thing I will miss the most about. This blog hold the accounts of each of our little transition and I will seriously have to treasure it for the last few weeks I have to blog on here.

Colts to Fiji 2011. Welcome to the family. Today’s only the beginning.

Life can change so easily it seems. The little plans you made for yourself in grade 8 or 9 or 10, those plans that were suppose to keep your course in life all smooth…well they change. Nothing can be expected and its crazy how it takes us that little something remarkable to change our thoughts. Sitting in advisory listening to my fellow global-eders talk about their grad transition plan, I could definitely relate to them. Still being indecisive about their career choices or even what they want to study, I have exactly the same feelings too. But it was also great to hear some of them were even more determined about what they want to be in the future.

Its quite curious how people always ask, what do you want to be when you grow up? Face it, all of us had been ask that question. “I want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a boss…” it shows how much people are interested in our future. After the trip, I thought more critically, what would my future be? Its crazy how people ask this question since we were kids and seriously, could we answer those questions? It takes experience to discover who we are, and already we were expected to answer- who we will be.  I think that discovering who are are currently is the most important, and the question of what you want to be, there’s a difference between wanting and reality. Finding what ‘to be’ could be the toughest part of the road. It changes to much and I we could only apply some sort of ‘guess and test’ method before we find out who are will become.

The thing is, I was thinking what it would be like if I did my grad transition plan now, instead of the middle of February. Everything has changed. Its weird to think that I have different thoughts, just in a difference of 2 months. The trip really made that much of a difference for me. I now know what I enjoy, and what I aspire to do. Correction. I think now, I am able to tell the difference between what I truly enjoy and things I convince myself that I would enjoy. I didn’t really know who I was and I can’t say positively I know now, but at least there’s improvement. There are things I know I will have to do, maybe not right away, but yes, they will have to be accomplish! Similar to Kevin and Madisen, the trip affected some important life choices that I will have to make. I think it just shows how we  ‘understand’ a bit more now.

And to Kevin,  it takes dedication and thoughtfulness in order to lead a team my friend. And you have done it! Seeing you play and give encouragement, I just think of how you are much global has affected you, and therefore the rest of the team. You were always the teammate, friend, instructor and now-global-eder that I could rely on. I do agree that global really changed the way we are, because I discovered another side of you that I never knew, just the same for the rest of you Mongols.

I was watching the Mongolia video from yesterday for a few times tonight and it made me all sad again. Its funny how every scene, I FEEL like I am actually there, reliving in the moment! I could picture myself there. Actually.  I could remember every single moment, what I was doing at that time, what everyone else was doing whether it was to find rocks, hammer nails, whatever. Will I remember these moments when I look back at it later? Will I remember the jokes, or how wrong that picture looked or what was funny about that moment? Will I? I tried to imagine myself in the snow, in the dirt at the worksite, inside the outhouse. Its funny how I could actually feel it. That’s cool and weird at the same time. I don’t think I could do the same about class, thinking about what I was doing 12 hours ago. And this was almost three weeks ago already.

It appealed to me how some of my classmates heard about this program when they were in grade 6 or 7 from their elementary school. I wish I heard the global presentation back then! Wow. Its amazing to know how they have set a goal for themselves, even 6 years or 5 years ago to come to this school to do this program. It just shows how important it is to educate younger grades, and prove that young ones aren’t oblivious and naive of what’s going on around the world. Who knows? Maybe some child is already thinking about joining global.

Everything seems like a blur all the time eh? Just last week was the “getting use to life back in Richmond” phase and now its the “getting use to handing over the program to the next year group” part.  As M says, not enough time, not enough time.

Yesterday Veronica and I were chilling outside M’s room and I nudged her and showed her that the interview sheet is up.

For goodness’s sake, its only April, I thought to myself.

Then I realize that it was also this time last year I prepared to persuade my parents to let me go. The time of the year when I heard the Paraguay presentation. And then I realize, YES, this is their time. Exactly a year ago, I remember getting onto the website and reading two new blogs belonging to Shannon and Rachel before I decided whether I want to interview . In all Paraguays blogs, I think there are many similarities to what the rest of the Mongos will have to say. About passing the torch…getting replaced. We had our fair share of fun and secret pride when we were chosen , saying the occasional “oh I feel so sorry for the Paraguay group” or “will this be us next year?” But in 2009, those comments never struck me, because I was living in that moment, proud of being chosen for 2010. I thought,  next year’s business-it will unfold itself.

And it has. Today as we gave the presentation, we are handing down the job to the gr 11s. Now, its their duty to make the decision of their high school career, or even their life, to choose this remarkable journey. I hope today’s presentation meant something to the next year’s crew. Staring amidst the packed multi, I searched for faces that one day would be sitting where we were. To gr11s: I hope that if you had NEVER thought of joining, you are now considering it. As much as I wish (along with the mongos!) that we would take your place, boycott  the presentation, tear down the sign up form… I do wish each and everyone of you to let Global Perspectives change your perspective of life. Because who knows? This might change your life and in turn, you could change someone else’s.  Because this program gives you the opportunity to. It provides you with a gateway to let out your questions in life, and find meaning in what you are doing. I miss it so much. In a year’s time, you will know what I am talking about.

To my dear Mongos, although we are letting the next year’s group be in our place, be in ‘our’ class… we still left a legacy. On the wall, it will always be Colts to Mongolia. Nothing can replace that. To everyone else, we have had our time, we belong to the blue wall now. But you know our experience together is more than images on the wall, a flag on the map. What we had was more alive and real than we could ever describe. Sitting together with you guys along the side of the stage gave me a sense of belonging. Family. Home. Even squished between Sudah and Graham, I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. We have been through good and bad, and its these friends you will keep in touch with forever.  It might not be a good day for us to see the prospects for next year, and its going to be tough these few weeks. But remember, we have each other and no one can take that away from us.

March 26- April 2. This week has got to be one of the longest week of my life.

I don’t think I ever blogged this many times in a week. Or have so many different emotions in a day. Or missed a bunch of people consecutively for days.

Today is Good Friday. Sitting at church today, I remembered the times in Mongolia. Remember in Korea? And during the times at the worksite? I also remembered the reflection I had after one of our group discussions. I thought of how blessed I was to be given the opportunity to live in Canada, to be handed the life I am living right now. That night at the dorms, I remember jotting down in my journal my reflection and saying a simple prayer.

Two weeks ago.

On a completely out-of -the-blue note, while I still remember, time for clarification of the cop story! For those who actually want to know the real story (probably this might not make sense to a lot of people. ) The day that we were leaving the yurt camp and moving into the dorms, I recall seeing the rest of the yurt crew coming with us. Sitting in the van, I wondered if living at the dorms meant that everything was safe, therefore, we don’t need the policeman. All I asked was a simple question: “is the policeman coming with us?” Then thanks to my wonderful and shameless friends… it became ‘Laura’s policeman.’ The rest of the story, you all know it already.

Yeeeesss. Laura vs. Job. K-O.

Perhaps the toughest few days have passed, and slowly, bit by bit, I find myself concentrating in class a bit more. Its hard to focus when all you could think about was what happened the last 14 days. I was just looking at my pictures and my brother told me that I was “dwelling on the past again.” Too bad, I can’t help it I smile to myself whenever I look at them, and its like a little treat to myself after a tiring day of school. School is mentally and physically exhausting for some reason, I guess it’ll take time to adjust still.

I was pretty unhappy the last few days. I think I miss Mongolia too much and it just seems that nothing is comparable to it anymore. Throughout the trip, I believed I have grown more independent, and changed from the sheltered girl to someone who is willing to venture out more.  I always thought independence was a good thing, until someone told me that it was harming me. That was certainly unexpected. . And I think I figured out my answer today. One reason this whole arguement took place was when I said I was interested in going to Nigeria. This is when the whole independent/traveling issue appeared.  Talking with my friend yesterday, she gave me lots of ideas to think about. Am I seeking independence by means of  traveling? Or am I traveling because I want to, and in turn, become more independent? After she posed the question, I was pondering over it. I guess through this trip, I realized a possibility of what I want to do in the future and this possibility involves a lot of independence.  I realized that I do want independence, but not at the expense of estranged relationships. Although I want to be rebellious and JUST DO IT, and I know that I have other responsibilities to worry about and its not just about me. At the right age, I know I could achieve the right amount of independence. I know that I would travel in the future- that’s just what I envision myself to be doing. But independence is a fostering trait and I have to control it until it is the right time to flourish. At least that’s my answer for now.