Bowie Szeto

Am I really blogging about nothing or do I actually have too much to say.. (It feels weird when no one else is blogging)

Everyday I try to find positive things that I could influence myself with, either from people or just..things. At the same time, I think about what positive things that I can influence to others. Today, I found a flaw, but realized I have turned it around.

I have a friend who has a goal to reach. In many people’s eyes, the standards and expectation really does seem really high for a goal like that to be succeeded for most people. I must admit, I doubted in her actions for trying. I stopped today and thought to myself, “Why?” It’s funny how judging one another can come into play so quickly. It’s a universal flaw of human beings, is it not? Today, I saw something different. I saw something I really admire from her, something that was creating a twinkle in her eye. I admire her passion (whether it may be short or long term) and those eyes that sparkled with a dream? or perhaps motivation behind them. Goals may be fail in the end, but what matters is whether or not you have the drive to try. The passion I felt from her today was gold, and it was so beautiful, it really was.

It makes me think about my passion and whether or not I’m pursuing it.
It makes me think about what I want to do.

Global provide humanitarian aid on a global scale, but a line really stuck to me ever since someone mentioned it..”This world needs a lot of help, everywhere.”

If I am to start anywhere..
I will be a better student,
a better friend,
a better classmate,
a better daughter
and a friendly stranger.

A genuine smile, or even a simple greeting can change the world.

Sometimes, or a lot of times, I question what I do a lot. I question the paths I take and the things ahead that I supposedly should have “planned out.” I mean, just the fact that I took the path of IB for completely no reason. I’m not here to talk about “omg IB is so intense, we have no life and BLAHBLAH..” I’m so over that, in fact, I get annoyed when people start saying..”oh my, we’re gonna die” or whatsoever. Seriously, no you are not going to die. I just wanted to say that I realized something, about some of the “pointless” things in life. I hope I can word it nicely.

I’m here to say that I’ve gotten to known myself a little better once again..I always find myself wondering why, why, why for everything, but in the end..I always find myself saying the same thing to myself.

The paths we choose matter, but in a sense, they don’t. We can’t always ask for reasons in what paths we take because most of the time, you might just find out that it is “pointless” or just..completely random. The path you take is the one you will walk down. Inevitably, there will be ups and downs, but each path is really just the same. Wherever life takes you, you will get there, and perhaps with a little effort, you might just end up where you want to be.

Honestly, IB wasn’t very enjoyable, but it wasn’t horrible. My mom asked me whether or not I would take IB If I could choose again. I can never answer these questions. I mean, I chose what I chose right? I can’t just go back and choose again. I can’t say much either, because I haven’t experienced the other side.

I guess out of this messy blog I just wanted to point out that I don’t ever regret doing things the “harder” way or things that were “stupid.” We are what we are and we travel where we go. There really isn’t anything behind it anymore, we are nothing greater and nothing more inferior than each other.

Maybe Global is about self-discovery.

I happen to find myself taking everything easily. I happen to find myself snapping out of some anger or stress bubble within a minute. I happen to find myself not seeing anything much as a problem. I happen to find myself not complaining. I happen to find myself more aware.  And perhaps, I feel quite happier.

And hopefully by the next time, I’ll happen to find myself as a better individual.

I enjoy seeing our names here on this website and clicking on my name “Bowie Szeto” with a creepy picture beside it to blog. I also enjoy clicking ‘refresh’ every five minutes to see if anyone has updated or posted a blog. And just because I enjoy it, perhaps I’ll make a short note of something.

My mom bought Gatorade crystals, and we never buy them. I guess she bought it because I will start to look pretty dead eventually while staying up at 5 am trying to study (or cram) for the exams in May. I took a sip, but it wasn’t as good as what I had in Mongolia.

The one I had in Mongolia was icy cold and delicious.
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A girl that I met in Mongolia on the first cultural night has been talking to me. She goes to the internet cafe and she tells me she goes whenever she has enough money to. She clicks on my name on msn messenger and tells me how happy she is that I actually remember her and I’m just thinking..someone’s spending time that they’re paying for, to talk to me across the world. How amazing is that?

Time is passing, things are passing by and perhaps the end of many things are approaching very quickly, but whenever I look back, at least I know I have more than enough to smile at. Don’t you think so?

Moreover, I’m smiling at the future.
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P.S- I love how everyone is just sending me messages saying..”OH MY GOD, YOU DEACTIVATED YOUR FACEBOOK? =O”
It makes me laugh. And yes I did, for studying purposes. Perhaps I should reconsider what I should do in my spare time…

So There was this wave of applying to university, panicking for acceptances and so on.. I couldn’t really wrap my head around it until now. It just kind of makes me laugh when I think about how some people just struggle to have any kind of education while on the other side of the world, there are rankings for schools telling people which ones “suck” and which ones are “prestigious.” So Why do we rank? Is there really a need? I don’t mean to attack schools that have either low or high rankings, but why does everything have to be ranked?

Sometimes I ask myself how I’ve changed after the trip or what I learned. It feels like I can never put it into words or even make sense of them in my mind. The things I have seen, heard and felt are still entangled in one big clump waiting to be unraveled each day. Now that I’m thinking about this..I realized how much more aware I am of people around me judging other things or people, as well as how much I do it. I really cease myself and others from doing it.

What makes a better world?

The ability to judge less and accept more.

P.S-Very excited to hear more about the class of 2011 to come..It’s interesting when you get to look at someone else start their journey after you have experienced it. It’s like being grade 12 and observing new grade 8′s coming to highschool.

It’s only natural for me to sit in a car, look out the window, and start thinking.
I’m awfully quiet in a car because It’s almost like an automatic thing that I do.
And so today, I was thinking again.

Everyday when I walk home or when I go out, I walk past the same bus stop. Before I see him occasionally, but now I see him everyday. I am talking about a homeless man always covered in a black jacket with the hood on his head. Every time I look at him, he’d be sleeping sideways, leaning on a bag. He is quite old. I bet he’s still lying there right now as I type this. It’s not like I don’t know there are homeless people around where I live or a bit further away from where I live, that’s not it. It’s not like I don’t understand that they are still people in poverty in first world countries either.  I was just suddenly reminded that this world  is made of differences. Things really exist because there are contrasts. Without light, there wouldn’t be darkness. Similarly, without the poor, no one would be rich. It’s really how things are and what is there in this world? Uneven distribution of food causing starvation and inequality between people. If you really do sit down and think about it, there are so many issues in this world that require huge amounts of time and effort for change to happen. Then it kind of just surprised me, how much difference can I make in my lifetime? I understand that change can be from one step at a time and that small actions can create big impacts, but it just made me feel kinda sad as I watched people on the streets and listened to the lyrics of the song playing on the radio.

I really don’t mean to judge, nor do I have the right to, but many people in this world wake up in the morning with barely enough hours of sleep to head off to work. They work and they eat and then they sleep. The cycle continues. I don’t know..I really believe in living with passion. Our lives are so short, are we not supposed to make the most of it with what we love? I admire Mr. Matheny and sometimes I agree to an extent why he doesn’t expect “Thank you’s” or need them from people. Not only because he is humble, but also because many people in this world cannot fulfill the following quote. “Do what you like, like what you do.” It seems so simple, yet many can’t get it right due to many factors.

I guess I just had a little depressing moment thinking about how this world works, but it is what it is. I do know that it’s not that gloomy in the end. There is always light somewhere. Perhaps Global Perspectives has got me started. At least I’m more..aware?
If you’re not even aware of something, you can’t change it.

So to the future Global Ed-ers…spread the love and good luck.

To old Global Ed-ers..we were in the program for a reason.

Today we did our presentation to the grade 11′s and the moment I entered the multipurpose room, I knew how good it would feel with all of us together once again. Seriously, it’s just so weird without us being together again. It felt funny when I sat down at the front of the room with our Mongolia group looking up at the grade 11′s. I remember sitting in one of those seats, observing the Paraguay group. I remember sitting there and not getting it. I remember sitting there thinking, “ya they must be great friends and they must have had an amazing experience, but i don’t get any of it.” I looked at their pictures and I heard the touching music, but really, what would it mean to me back then? It’s hard to explain experiences and pictures can’t show you much either, It’s an emotional ride. You have to feel for yourself. I looked at the grade 11′s today and I tried to put myself in their shoes. Some looked interested and some not so much. I understand though, It’s hard to connect when it’s got nothing to do with your life. I remember sitting there not being to imagine myself as a grade 12 or even considering being in Global Ed because it was always just in the back of my mind. It just simply doesn’t make as much sense until after you have experienced it. Frankly, I was one of the last ones to sign up for an interview and all that was in my mind was really just, “Why not give it a shot?” I must say I barely knew what I was doing or what I was getting myself into. But whatever it was that made me write my name on that sign-up sheet was just wonderful. Writing my name down on paper has never been so meaningful.

When I was sitting inside the multipurpose room, I felt so happy all of a sudden by just sitting there. I felt so happy that I was sitting right there in between 29 amazing people that have made a mark in my life. I was so proud of ourselves. I wish I was still sitting there. Watching the video of us and those amazing little videos throughout our whole trip (BIG PAT ON THE BACK FOR KATRINA!) really did bring back many memories. Memories of tears and of laughter. Memories where it was loud and when it was quiet. Every detail of every scene comes back, and these details will probably stay with us forever.

There are a few..(or many) general universal wants or perhaps needs in this world. The want to be loved. The want to love. The want to make a difference. The want to belong. The want to communicate and bond. The want to be yourself and the want to take risks. The want to find meaning and the want to understand. & etc? Well here’s the deal. All of those you can find in Global Perspectives, right here and right now. I’m not sure how to word it, but being in something that is so positive will definitely shape you into a more positive individual. Agreed? I’m sure people who have been through the program would agree.

So we finally understand why past groups may be bitter on newcomers to this program and that is because this is something so special that you would always want to have with you (Don’t worry, we know you guys just want the best out of every year). Some people were a little down and some were a bit bitter today for the presentation. Personally I felt a bit down today, thinking “this is it? That’s the end of us? Are you sure we went to Mongolia already? =( ”  I mean, interviews for next year’s class is coming up on Monday! But life goes on and we always have to move on. Just like everything else in life and especially this year, we also need to say goodbye because it’s our graduating year. Things come and things go, isn’t that just how life works? Memories should always be treasured and thought about, but It’s also important to look forward. Although being sad is quite inevitable, we should be happy that more people will be experiencing something so amazing and isn’t it nice to know that this program will go a long way? More stops at different countries, more schools, more friendships, more love, more connections and having better people coming back home? (No, I don’t mean that people before the trips are bad people!) I can already imagine how hard it would be to leave the class, but that’s why we are told to embrace the moments in life right? Take in everything you can and keep it with you, because there are things that people can’t take away from you.

Even though it is ending, it really isn’t. I can see myself 10 years from now and still stalking this website every single day. Moreover, all these good things that happen in Global doesn’t only have to happen in Global. What about our local community or other groups that tries to make the world a better place? Global had us started and created the beat of the music, how you play the music later on is up to you. So why not do more? Smile about what’s to come, not what you’ve lost.

Hm..I have typed quite a bit of words. But finally some words to the grade 11s, (if you guys are still bothering to read this):

Don’t be afraid to give this program a try, because you shouldn’t make assumptions to anything before you try it. I’m not the super outgoing type of person nor am I fantastic at lifting weights or anything, but it doesn’t matter, as long as you have the heart for it. I wasn’t sure what I was actually getting myself into when I first got into the program, but things will start to sink in very fast (or slowly), but that’s okay too. Maybe I should type in point form than long essays..

1. Be yourself
2. Don’t be afraid to meet new people
3. It’s okay if you have to “sacrifice” every other lunch time.. You won’t care.
4. Trust me, you’ll never meet such amazing teachers ever in your life.
5. If you’re dying to do something amazing in your life, this is the way to go.

And maybe I should just stop before my word count gets a bit crazy..

Keep smiling mongos

PS- After exams in May, I’m hoping to reread all my own blogs and everyone else’s. Good plan? You should do it too

With a stuffy nose along and a head that spins all day, I found it very hard to focus (just like many others) these past few days. Slowly and steadily, I’m starting to actually start homework before dinner instead of sitting blankly with a mind wandering somewhere else. I find myself “stalking” this website everyday after school, and it comforts me reading people’s blogs. There is certainly no escape in being attached to this family of ours, but I feel extremely privileged.

Global provided me with answers to things in life, but It’s also triggering more questions at the same time. We are told that it is normal, but perhaps I should just give it time because everything seems to be in a clump right now in my mind. I guess there’s no point for getting ahead of myself, right?

Right now:
1) Focus and do what I have to do.
2) Be happy.
3) Oh yes, recover from this sickness. (Because I miss the taste of food)
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(A while later…*clicks edit post*)

I don’t know why I’m so lame and random, but come to think of it..Global is like eating something really good alone (ice-cream:D?). No one else will understand the good feeling, but yourself. No one can take that memory of happiness from you either, It’s something that will be with you forever.

Am I weird or should I blame IB?

I understand that It’s quite hard coming home. But I’m actually really grateful that we came back. We went to Mongolia for a reason and we’re also back for a reason. We’ve learned valuable lessons and I think It’s important that we try to transfer it back home. I feel happier, stronger and more powerful. Should we not take advantage of what we learned and incorporate it into our lives? As we all discovered, we have everything and have so much opportunity in where we are, why not embrace it? I was afraid initially that we’re back and that we might get caught up with our lives again. But now I’m not afraid, because I believe that influence is a big thing in this world. I feel like we can make our own worlds a better place and more enjoyable and I believe in everyone of us.

Mongolia was beautiful and we had an amazing time, but life can also be like that right here in Richmond.
I lost my train of my thought of trying to cheer up those are depressed, but I think through time, we will realize that the end of the trip isn’t really the end. I don’t feel like it is at all. It is the beginning of people becoming more loving, more connected and more positive.

I think we earned our smiles and we should keep smiling here like we did in Mongolia. I think we should be hopeful of what will happen at the school that we built and also for the future in our own lives.

The song “The reason” is still playing and yes this is the 6th blog from today..and to end this blog, I would like to quote lyrics.

“And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is (you).”

And (you) is global perspectives, people, the world and myself.

A big thanks to (you).

Not only was this trip an adventure, a place for adventure, but also the discovery of life and ourselves.

I learned how to appreciate things, how important happiness is and about myself. I learned that I have no reason to complain about anything anymore and things are what they are and you have to take them as they are. I’ve never been so confident in being a happy person ever in my life. I feel so positive and all thanks to Global Perspectives, I have no reason to be emotional and sad when things are going wrong. Global was not only a mission or a trip, but also a 2 week break away from what our life is. We were away from people we knew, things that were familiar to us and It’s almost like a break from life to realize and think. During the trip, days and time did not matter to us because we just do what we do. It’s like a clearing of the mind while many new ideas are placed into it. It’s quite hard sometimes to see things clearly when we’re in our normal daily routines at home.

It’s hard to explain in words what the experience was like. It’s also hard to tell it in words with pictures, but thank you global perspectives and to all those who make it work.

Even though it might be little changes that occur in us, but good change is good for us anyhow. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much good tears in my life. I’m so privileged to have been part of this and I’m forever grateful. Now all I’m doing is focusing back in my life trying to become a better person and waiting to discover more as I look back.

Global Perspectives have had me in shock since grade 11 till now.

Shock Number 1: Waking up in the middle of the night and reading the email from Matheny saying that I got in the program. It felt so unreal and I didn’t even know what was going to come at me.
Shock Number 2: Counting down the number of days till the trip, It’s like.. we’re actually going?
Shock Number 3: On the Plane. We’re actually going? Am I actually part of this? I’m on a plane? I’m away from home? It’s springbreak?
Shock Number 4: Workday number 3. I realized that all the preparation from the interview till then..was all about the goal to build a school. We were actually almost done..wow, we’re doing this? We’re here and It’s almost over?
Shock Number 5: Closing ceremony. We’ve built this and we’re leaving already? It’s unbelievable.
Shock Number 6: Leaving and going back to Richmond. The two weeks went by slow and fast at the same time. How do I absorb all of this?

Shock Number 7: Back to Richmond. I need to gather out my thoughts, get back on track with my life, but also remember what I have learned.

And now..I can only wait for what’s to come.