Alicia Koo

As many of you may have noticed, I’ve been MIA for the past few months.
I’ve been studying like I’ve never studied before in my life for IB exams, and I’m glad that it’s finally over and done with. Although yes, I know what most of you are thinking. I should have made time for more blogging, I know. I’m sorry. Let me explain.

This was perhaps one of the most difficult few months I’ve had, and not merely because of academics…

In Fiji, I had promised myself to make changes at home.
I had epic plans in mine to change things in my life that I’ve had problems with for some time now, and I was extremely excited to go home.

However, some of these plans fell through only a while after I got back. I eventually hit a wall and I couldn’t focus on what I wanted to do because school and work and preparation for exams ate up all my time. I felt as though life was on hold and I fell back into routine, mindless and robotic. I felt as though I was lost and drifting again, questioning the reason and importance for everything that I was doing. Is this really worth all of my time and energy? I wondered.

You know, education isn’t nearly as important as I had originally taken it for. For far too long it’s been used as an excuse, and I’ve pushed away the things that I care about most in my life. I’ve given up friends, family, things I need and love to do… quite frankly all the things that make like worth living.

And for what? A bunch of numbers? For a certain self satisfaction that I can no longer find anymore by working at my maximum capacity? Learning was no longer fun and I felt as if I was handcuffed with no other option. By pushing myself like this, I’ve become completely self destructive.

I’ve given education, at least education between the four walls of a classroom, far too much credit than it deserves. I’m not saying that education isn’t important: it is. But if you know me, and some of you may, you know that I’ve perhaps taken it too far, killing myself and giving 120% when I just didn’t have the mental or physical strength to do so anymore.

Working hard is good, but not to the point where you forget to live, which I think is what happened to me. I wasn’t living anymore, but drifting along and surviving. I’d forgotten what it feels like to live in the moment.

Honestly, Fiji saved me. It really did.

I wish I could say I learned all of this in a moment of self-discovery, but it took me (at least in my opinion) far too long to have figured this out. Although I was beginning to understand this out before the trip, being there really solidified all of this for me. Getting to know people, feeling the connection, feeling happy, and feeling alive again with a passion for life and the things that I want to do. It was the wake-up call I needed.

I feel like I have a purpose now, and a certain direction in where I want to go and what I want to do.
One good thing that came out of losing what I had and gaining it all back though, is that I appreciate everything so much more now.

Now I can finally get back on track with the life that I want to lead.

Alicia

It’s true.
We haven’t faced much adversity at all.
It’s been smooth sailing 99% of the time before and during our journey.

Personally, I had almost no trouble adjusting.
Goat? No problem.
Different food? Awesome.
Different people, different customs? Nothing!

Of course, it’s true that I was only there for a week, and perhaps it would have been different if I had stayed for longer, but that wasn’t the case.
It felt almost wrong not to feel uncomfortable while many others around me struggled. I almost wanted to feel somewhat displaced.

Be careful what you wish for Alicia! This feeling of belonging didn’t last for very long.
Strangely enough, the first taste of adversity was during the second week for me.
After living the small friendly town of Labasa, I had some difficulty adjusting to the ‘comfort’ of a resort. The lifestyle was completely different, and personally not at all welcome. All I wanted to do was to be back with the villagers and to work non-stop without a care in the world. At the resorts, I felt extremely uncomfortable with all the extra time on my hands. Of course there’s a purpose to everything and most of this time was used to reflect on what we learned and to and to readjust which I eventually did. Of course, I began to question my own lifestyle choices at this point and the luxuries that many people (including myself) take for granted.

What I found interesting was how I experienced almost no culture shock as I was in Fiji…
HOWEVER, as soon as I returned home that was a completely different story.

Although I travel, perhaps a little more often than a teenager my age, I’ve never experienced a ‘shock’ if you will, so pronounced as the one after returning from the trip.

I began to reject all the habits and values of those around me at home. Of course I was happy to be back with family and friends, but the things they worried themselves over, the and the things they did grated against my nerves, and I was frustrated beyond belief because I was unable to get through to them and to make the changes that I wanted to see. They didn’t understand the experience or where I was coming from… I guess it’s just something you have to live through to really get.

After seeing how the Fijians lived, I began to take it personally when I saw people wasting resources and taking everything for granted. After seeing how precious water was and how difficult it is to collect in Fiji, I hated to see water wasted. Why do you need to take a 20 minute shower? Why would you empty a half filled water bottle because the water was ‘too warm’? After seeing how much effort is placed in growing sugar cane, I couldn’t bear to waste a single grain of it here.

For quite some time, I was at the rejection stage of the culture shock curve.
I guess now I’m beginning to readjust. Although I still don’t agree to many things, the best I can do now is to change my own habits and maybe then I can start to influence the network of individuals around me. After all, to make big things happen, you’ve always got to start out small!

Alicia.

To my dear Botswanans,

I know this is ridiculously late … but congrats!
I’ve probably spoken to many of you already, but if I haven’t, I just want to let you know how excited I am for each of you. You’ve begun such an amazing journey (although you may not know it yet) !

In the meantime, I’ve got some advice for all of you:

1) Work hard
Do you know what “Garbage in, garbage out” means?
Basically, the more you put into the program, the more you’ll learn and grow from it… and vice versa. Always try your best, and be proud knowing you did so.

2) Teamwork
So many things fall under this category. First of all, communication is key. That means being able to trust each other so get to know ALL of your classmates (and the teachers too… they won’t bite, I swear)! They’ll be the ones that you share the amazing moments with, and they’ll also be the shoulders you may need to cry on when life gets rough. This is probably one of the most important aspects of this program!

3) Listen & Learn
Frustrated? Made mistakes? Don’t sweat it. Learn from it instead! There will always be obstacles in life, so its important that you are able to pick yourself up and keep going, no matter what kinds of bumps and bruises you may end up getting along the way. If theres something you can change, whether it be about yourself or your environment, go for it! Be the change that you want to see in the world, and learn to live with the rest!

4) Have fun!
Live in the moment! Time flies by so quickly… before you know it you’ll be on the flight back to YVR wondering if any of it happened in the first place. You’re in your last year of high school, so make every moment count!

Anyway, good luck to you all,
Love always,
Alicia

P.S. If you guys have any questions, feel free to come talk to me or message me on facebook, I’ll do my best to help you out so don’t be a stranger! 

Today is our last work day in Fiji. I don’t even know where all the time went, everything went by so quickly. After countless hours of hammering, painting, and moving dirty, the community centre is finally coming together. I find it amazing how quickly our hard work has transformed the skeleton of a building into something that will be used for generations to come. I can’t imagine leaving this place right now… I’ve made so many connections with the villagers and it never ceases to amaze me how we’ve become a family over the course of five days. What I’ve realized is how involved everybody is in the village and tight-knit the community is, even though everybody here lives so far apart. They all depend on each other to in order to survive… a stark contrast to what it’s like at home. It’s almost sad to think life back in Canada about how everybody is so independent where it gets to the point where we hardly even know our neighbours who live only a few meters away. I’m definitely going to miss all the friendly cries of ‘Bula!’, all the bright smiles, and all the waving hands when I leave.

I’ve also learned so much over these past few days, and what really strikes me is how hard everybody works here. Children as young as six walk up to five kilometers just to get to school … while I get a ride everyday even though it’s just twenty minutes away. I realized how lazy I am at home and how I take so much for granted, especially my parents and everything that they’ve done for me. From now on, I need to become more independent because if a six year old in Fiji can do it, I can do it too.

In the past few days, I have chugged a coconut, nailed up approximately half of the walls of our community centre (check out my biceps!), threw permanganate at one another during the festival of colours, and hiked up to the most picturesque view you could ever imagine. However, the most valuable and rewarding experience for me so far was witnessing the sacrifice of the goat during our stay in the village. Although it was difficult to watch, I was very impressed with how humane the process was and the fact that every single part of the goat was used. It also made me feel more at peace knowing that this goat lived a full life in the fields as opposed to being penned up all its life as it may have been in another environment. This reminded me of home and how whenever we need food we simply go to the supermarket and buy our meat packaged with no connection whatsoever to the animal that was killed. Although we’re aware of the way animals are treated, you don’t always make a connection that a life was lost in order to provide you with food. Here, by experiencing this, I gained a greater appreciation for where food comes from and I know that when I go back home I will never look at food the same way ever again. As well, this really shows how difficult it is to learn through someone else’s experience and how we must create our own in order to truly learn and to understand. This experience also led me to think about the purpose of life itself. The goat, since the day it was born, had its fate decided: it was going to be used for food for the villagers. We, humans, were in charge of its life and gave it a purpose. But what about us? Nobody’s in charge of our lives… that’s the beauty of it. We can choose what we want to do, how we want to contribute to the community, and for me that’s building this community centre in Fiji.

The past 48 hours have been absolutely amazing. It’s hard to believe that we’re finally here, after a year of fundraising and preparation! Everybody in Fiji is so friendly and although we were exhausted and sweaty from all that travelling, it was the last thing we were thinking about when we arrived at the village. The opening ceremony was full of dancing and singing and I think I can say that they are possibly the friendliest people on the planet. Amidst all the celebrations, however, I noticed something very interesting. There seems to be a large separation between groups of people, especially between the men and the women. The men appear to be in charge most of the time and the women seemed to be doing most of the cooking and entertaining while the little girls are sitting in the back corner away from all the other children. This seems to be different from what we’re used to in Canada where women are for the most part equal with the men… which makes me start to wonder why it’s so different between the two countries. Who makes these decisions? How can we create the changes that we want to see? Oftentimes the government helps by creating laws, but even in Canada that doesn’t guarantee equality. I suppose then it begins with a change of perspective and it’ll be interesting to see how they react to us (largely a group of girls) hammering away and creating a community center.

Anyway, it’s back to painting and digging for me!

Love from Fiji,

Alicia

P.S. Pat, if you’re reading this, your pants are covered in paint… SORRY!

Yesterday we had a Global Summit right in the comfort of our own classroom!

Several students who had previously graduated from the program came to talk to us about how Global Perspectives had helped them grow and how it still affects their decisions today. I personally think that this was something that was important for me to hear because I’m currently facing numerous decisions that will ultimately affect my life.

After hearing how much of an impact global had made in the lives of the grads, and I feel that I’m beginning to feel the same way. I know I’ve often said that this trip isn’t only to help the Fijians but to also help us broaden our perspectives and to appreciate what we have here at home. However, I think that this class is helping me in a way that’s greater than that. It’s given me more meaning in my life, more so than just travelling, volunteering, studying has ever been able to combined. It’s allowed me to figure out what I want to do with my life, and how I can also incorporate that with other goals I have as well. I had originally wanted to study to medical sciences, but I think that with the passion I’ve grown for humanitarian work, I think that it would be great to work for Doctors Without Borders so I can have the best of both worlds.

I feel that this whole experience is helping me gain a better sense of who I am and who I will be, and I’m definitely getting excited about what’s in store for us in Fiji.

Alicia

P.S.: 23 more days!

“When the elephant is young and relatively weak, it is tied to an immovable stick. So later, no matter how large and strong he becomes…he continues to believe that he cannot free himself. Many intelligent people are like circus elephants. They never question their self-imposed limitations.”

I had stumbled upon this quote a while back and I felt that it definitely related to my experience after the bottle drive. But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story.

The Day of the Bottle Drive:

So I had woken up on the wrong side of bed that morning and was in rather a rush to get to the school, grabbing only my cell phone as I dashed out the door. I wasn’t in the best of moods, and the cold wet weather definitely wasn’t helping. However, we finished sorting everything within a couple of hours; albeit being soaked and freezing by the end of it all. At this point I was feeling rather exhausted and I was looking forward to going home and taking a hot shower…

… Which would have been wonderful had I not have left my keys at home effectively locking myself out of my own house. My mom and my brother weren’t options either; they were in Maple Ridge for a soccer game and wouldn’t be home until later that evening. So I stood there completely frustrated with the situation that I had gotten myself into and quite angry with the world in general that day.

However, I quickly realized that the sitation was only as bad as I chose to make it. Sure, I couldn’t change the fact that I was cold and wet and wouldn’t be home until at least four hours later, but I could change my attitude about the situation because being angry sure wasn’t going to help. So instead, I chose to make the best out of the situation and took the positives out of it. Rather than focusing on my discomfort, I thought about why I was in this situation in the first place: I was only wet and cold because the bottle drive had been a great success, so it was rather worth it. Also, I didn’t have to wait in the cold, I had other options such as the library, mall, or even a friend’s house. Sure, things weren’t ideal at the moment but it could’ve been worse, so I should still be thankful nonetheless! In any case, it was my own fault that I had forgotten my keys and I had only myself to blame.

So what are the lessons that I learned?

1) You can’t always depend on other people; you have to be responsible for yourself. Because I had left my key at home, I had to suffer the consequences. When we’re here living with our families we’re often quite sheltered and perhaps even a little spoiled with all the luxuries we have. However, when we’re on our own, we won’t have the shoulders of our parents to lean on and so we shouldn’t be taking that for granted.

2) Mind over matter! No matter how stressful or upsetting the situation, you can always make it a little easier for yourself by thinking positively. Your mind is often the only barrier keeping you from doing your best. In Fiji, being open-minded will definitely key to making the most out of the experience, so hopefully none of us will end up like that little pink circus elephant.

Alicia

For the past few weeks, we’ve been hard at work organizing our last bottle drive. Two of my friends and I decided to tackle the area around Ferris, my old elementary school. For the first seven years of my formal education, Ferris had been my home and had always brought me a sense of comfort, especially when visiting my old teachers. It had been two years since I had last been there.

On the day of the bottle collection, I had arrived a little early to take a look around and to take a little walk down memory lane. However, as I passed the windows of empty desks and chairs, I didn’t feel a sense of warmth as I thought I would. The more I looked around, the more empty I felt. “Why do I feel like such a stranger in a place where I had once felt so at home?” I wondered. And then it dawned on me that it wasn’t the building itself that held the fond memories of my childhood. It was the people that I had grew up with; the teachers and the friends were the ones who had made Ferris a home for me.

A building isn’t a home; its merely walls, windows, doors, and a roof. It’s the relationships that you form within that building that counts. Looking forward, I hope that I can build the same strong relationship with those around me now, as well as the people in Wavuwavu so that Fiji will no longer be only a location on a map, but also a place that I can call my own.

Alicia

The first thing that comes to mind when we think of child labour are little boys and girls working in terrible circumstances including:

- Full-time work at a very early age.
- Dangerous workplaces.
- Excessive work hours.
- Limited pay.

However, this is not always the case. We have to look at both sides of the situation as well. These kids may be working hard, but at least they’re making money to support their families and without work, their situation could be much, much worse. I’m only against child labour if it is harming and exploitative, damaging to their growth and interfering with their education.

Everything I just described fit under child prostitution, something I have a serious problem with.

I know I’ve haven’t been blogging much for the past month and it’s because I’ve been busy with what we call “IB hell week.” But after watching the video about those children as little as 9 years old being abused, what I’m going through is absolutely insignificant in comparison. These kids have no choice, no rights, and are sexually and emotionally abused day after day. They are forced into this, kidnapped, drugged, and beaten with no way out. It’s completely disgusting, and I feel so helpless sitting here just watching this happen. Here, I have a choice. I’m educated. I have rights. Although it’s exhausting at times, education is unbelievably important as it gives us the power to change the world. Child prostitution has to stop, immediately. I know that we won’t see change as quickly as we want to, but it gives me hope that one day these kids won’t have to face this kind of abuse anymore, that they a new generation will have a voice to fight for what is right, and that this cycle of poverty and pain will finally end. Building a school is just the first step.

Alicia.